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Archive for the ‘Life Notes’ Category

Lipstick on a Pig

 Do not give what is holy to dogs; and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under foot and turn and maul you. Matthew 7:6

When Jesus says, “Do not throw your pearls before swine,” I think of the old proverb, “You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig.” The point of the proverb is that you cannot change the inner essence of something simply by decorating the exterior. Another similar, though perhaps unrelated, saying that comes to my mind is this: “Arguing with an engineer (or insert the profession or person of choice here) is like wrestling in the mud with a pig. After a couple of hours you realize the pig is enjoying it.”

While Jesus’ words are less crude than the folk wisdom I cited, I believe the point is similar. Who and what we are dealing with should determine how we proceed. Jesus says if we give what is holy to a dog or pearls to pigs, they will not treat our gifts with a level of reverence that we consider appropriate. Why? Because they do not perceive the inherent beauty and value that we see. Is that a fault in their character? Of course not! It is our perception that ascribes the value, and pigs and dogs have a much different perspective of what is valuable or useful for their purposes. Consider the thought of giving a new computer to a person in a third world country who has no access to electricity, let alone to the internet. They might use the computer as yard art, as a doorstop, or as a conversation piece with their neighbors, but it will never open their eyes to the world we know in the way we may have hoped. It cannot do what we wish for that person, no matter how good or honorable our intentions, nor can the other appreciate it in the way we intend. Likewise, if we give a Rolex to a toddler, they will just chew on it.

The lesson in Jesus’ words has nothing to do with dogs and pigs, however, but in how we treat others. If someone does not share our appreciation for enlightened readings, why would we share them with that person? They will treat what we value as if it were worthless. Who is likely to be offended? It is us, of course! A better approach to share the joys of enlightenment is to find out where the other person is in his or her spiritual journey and meet them there. Who knows, we may find they are enlightened in ways we are not.

The reason Jesus provides for not giving gifts that others cannot appreciate is not only that they will trample them under foot, but also that they will turn and maul you. They may actually strike out in anger against us. One problem with giving something we think another person needs or wants is the very assumption he or she needs or wants anything from us. It may be more an expression of our well-intentioned, but arrogant assumption than his or her actual need or desire. If, in our sincere effort to help, we offend instead – we make them feel less a person – we can expect a negative and perhaps aggressive reaction. Particularly in giving advice, we cannot show a person a better way unless and until we know they (1) actually need a better way, and (2) desire to receive what we have to offer. Otherwise, we are simply throwing our “pearls” before swine, to paraphrase Jesus.

I hope not to imply that I consider those who have different thoughts about what is holy and valuable than me to be dogs or swine. I must remind myself regularly that what I value is what I value – nothing more, nothing less. Further, if I want to give something to others, it is best to give unconditionally, meaning without expectation of whether they use or appreciate the gift in the way I intended. If I cannot give something freely, I am probably still too attached to it and am likely to feel I have just given pearls to pigs.

Finally, I cannot resist sharing another “pig proverb,” this one from the author, Robert Heinlein: “Never try to teach a pig  to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig”.1

This is the 25th in a series of Life Notes entitled “What Did Jesus Say?”

 Prefer to listen? Check out Life Notes Podcasts at www.ContemplatingGrace.com/podcasts

1          http://thinkexist.com/quotation/never_try_to_teach_a_pig_to_sing-it_wastes_your/218581.html, accessed June 18, 2018.

 

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In My Father’s Arms

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June 14, 2018

Do Not Judge

 Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. Matthew 7:1

When I think of judgment, I remember a scene I witnessed several times growing up. The parents of one of my friends had matching easy chairs in their living room with a small table between them. They would smoke, drink, and comment, usually critically, on whatever they saw on television, in the neighborhood, or standing in front of them. My image was of a self-appointed king and queen meting out judgment on their lowly subjects and rarely granting anything smacking of mercy. As one who was sometimes the subject of their sharp judgment, the memory is not a pleasant one. Even as I write this, fifty years later, I realize I am judging them in return, albeit posthumously. Interestingly, this is exactly what Jesus tells us will happen when we cast judgement on others – that we, too, will be judged.

I believe most Christians are aware of Jesus’ instruction not to judge. What constitutes judgement, however, and whether casting judgement on another out of concern for his or her “salvation” creates a large divide among us. For example, if one truly believes that living outside of the Bible’s behavioral guidelines condemns one to an eternity in hell, would not the loving thing be to tell a friend or family member that they need to repent? Of all the issues that turn people away from the Christian faith, however, the sense that we are overly judgmental is one of the most common. When a person sets foot inside a church and is accosted by language about salvation and other accusations that make them feel less than welcome or worthy of God’s love, it is little wonder so many of our churches are struggling. Personally, I think Jesus tells us to tend to our own house, first.

There is a foundational reason why it is so difficult not to judge: our minds are designed to judge. We constantly categorize what we see, hear, feel, touch, and taste. This is good, that is bad; this is beautiful, that is ugly; this is worthy of my attention, that is not; this is safe, that is dangerous. These judgments are usually made much too quickly to know anything or anyone at more than the shallowest of levels. Yet, this is what our minds do. In that sense, Jesus is asking us to overcome our natural tendency to judge – both for ourselves and for others. More accurately, Jesus asks us to become more discriminating about when to act on our judgments.

One common and frequently overlooked form of judgment is gossip – saying things about a person in his or her absence that we would not say in their presence. Gossip is often malicious, but not always. I sometimes catch myself saying things about someone in a way I would not say to him or her face to face. Usually, I am not trying to hurt them, but rather to be funny. I attempt to be funny, however, at someone else’s expense.

Here is an even more important reason to be careful about casting judgment, however. That which we find most worthy of judgment against another is almost certainly a reflection of a similar trait or tendency within our self. If we are not consciously aware of that particular tendency, we likely have repressed our awareness of it, often out of shame. Bringing those types of issues to light and acknowledging them can be painful. The old saying that when I point a finger at you there are three pointing back at me is often truer than we care to admit.

When it comes to our own shortcomings, we desire mercy for ourselves more readily that we typically grant it to others. When we see something worthy of judgment in another, perhaps our first thoughts should be, “What within me is reacting so negatively to this behavior? Am I guilty of the same thing?” Once we have those answers, we may not be so quick to judge. No one is perfect, but we seldom improve or grow from the harsh judgments of others. Allowing our repressed memories and immature tendencies to rise to conscious awareness helps us to transform those hidden parts of ourselves into something good. Somehow, that transformation also seems magically to transform others, or at least our perception of others. Because the mercy of withholding judgement is something we desire for ourselves, Jesus suggests we grant the same to others.

 This is the 24th in a series of Life Notes entitled “What Did Jesus Say?”

 Prefer to listen? Check out Life Notes Podcasts at www.ContemplatingGrace.com/podcasts

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Humble Worship

Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them. Matthew 6:1

Whenever you give alms, do not sound a trumpet before you. Matthew 6:2

Whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door. Matthew 6:6

Whenever you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites. Matthew 6:16

The first half of the sixth chapter of Matthew contains some unsettling instructions for worship. Jesus contrasts the ways hypocrites worship with a methodology more consistent with accessing the kingdom of heaven. Spoiler Alert: humility is required! Jesus does not criticize the religious practices of his day – praying, fasting, and giving; but he does give specific direction for the way those practices are carried out. If we are practicing religion in order to look good to others, we are not likely to enter the kingdom of God.

It is easy to get into a comfortable rhythm of worshiping but neglect whom we worship. Certainly, we claim God as the focus for worship, but does God really care about how we are dressed or that we sing our songs of praise loudly, in tune, or even if we sing at all? If we are honest, much of how we approach worship is to either impress, or at least avoid the criticism of our brothers and sisters in the worship space. I wonder about the motivation of folks who post their church attendance to social media – not that that is necessarily bad. If they advertise their church attendance to encourage others to join them, fine. If they do it to show themselves to be holier than their neighbor, shame on them. Jesus says, Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them. Why? He continues, For then you have no reward from your Father in heaven (Matthew 6:1). Once we are honest about whose response we are most focused on receiving, we know whom we worship.

It is easy to become obsessed with our appearance to others. Ultimately, this is a form of idol worship, seeking our rewards from someone or something other than God. And this is exactly Jesus’ point – that our focus needs to be on God. What is apparently important to God, according to Jesus, is a humble and focused heart. Whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you (Matthew 6:6). It is safe to assume that this sort of private worship is not only what connects most effectively with God, but is also the most beneficial form of worship for us. Everything else is window dressing – obstacles and idols we place between God and ourselves that inhibit any sort of a direct connection. Certainly, there is an element of safety in approaching the throne of God with others. And granted, we need to approach God in awe and with reverence, which naturally includes an element of fear. Our fear of coming face-to-face with God and exposing ourselves in our naked imperfection, however, is a fear we must learn to overcome if we wish to experience the all-inclusive love of our creator. We are loved as we are, where we are, completely and unconditionally, but we cannot fully receive that love when our attention is directed elsewhere.

When we give our offerings, we should not announce it to the world in order to be praised by others. Yes, we should be generous according to our ability, but we should give for the furtherance of God’s work on earth, not for our own glorification.  When we fast, we are not to make a production of how intolerably we are sacrificing. Rather, we are to sacrifice with joy, knowing that fasting is a practice that opens our heart to the presence of God. Giving and fasting bring their own rewards.

Focusing on ourselves or how others perceive us makes our God too small. The purpose of worshiping God is not to make ourselves feel insignificant and sinful, but to acknowledge and know that we are intimately connected to something large, loving, and wonderful. Ultimately, our joy resides within the community of believers, members of the body of Christ. And not only is our joy there, but also our security, for abiding in that body is the only truly safe place to reside. To enter that amazing space of worship, however, we must enter with humility.

This is the 23rd in a series of Life Notes entitled “What Did Jesus Say?”

Prefer to listen? Check out Life Notes Podcasts at www.ContemplatingGrace.com/podcasts

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Love Your Enemies

 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes the sun rise on the evil and on the good; and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? Matthew 5:44-46

As I ponder these words of Jesus, I find it helpful to distinguish between people I do not like and those I consider an enemy. In general, I choose not to associate with those whom I share little in common. The person I must associate with in the normal course of my days who does not share my core values and understanding of the world, however, is a higher level of annoyance for me. While I accept that not everyone feels the same way I do about things, I find these people unpleasant to be around for an extended time, and I try to avoid or ignore them as much as possible. The third category of person is one who not only does not share my core values and understanding of the world, but he or she actively works against what is important to me. This person fits my definition of an enemy because avoiding or ignoring them is not sufficient. Rather, I find myself working in direct opposition to them in support of what I believe. Fortunately for me, there are not too many people in either of the latter two categories. They do exist, however, and I struggle with how best to deal with them in a way that is consistent with Christ’s teachings.

There is one striking example in the Gospels of Jesus becoming angry and actively working against the interests of another. In Matthew 21:12-13 (also in Mark 11, Luke 19, and John 2). Jesus enters the temple and finds merchants selling sacrificial animals to worshipers. He overturns their tables and orders them to leave, saying, “My house shall be called a house of prayer, but you are making it a den of robbers.” The sellers were actively working against Jesus’ vision of the temple as a house of prayer. It was a dramatic clash of values, and Jesus took overt action against them. Based on my definition above, one could say the merchants were the enemies of Jesus.

Even so, Jesus tells us to love our enemies. Everyone loves those who love them, Jesus says. For me, it is helpful to remember that to love someone does not necessarily mean I have to agree with them, approve of their behavior, or even particularly like them. The type of love of which Jesus speaks is an action, not an emotion. We can act in the best interest of another without necessarily agreeing with their life choices. We do not have to become like them, but we do need to acknowledge their existence, respect their right to feel as they do, and understand that God loves and cares for them every bit as much as God loves and cares for us. God allows us our preferences, but when our preferences lead us to judge others harshly, we tread a thin line between seeking to do what is right and believing that God is on our side, exclusively.

With some serious self-reflection, we begin to understand that our views and preferences are fraught with biases and prejudices, just like those of our enemies. With more reflection, we may even discover that what we find so annoying about another is actually a reflection of some deeply repressed tendency in ourselves of which we are ashamed. In other words, our enemies reflect something within us that we are hesitant to acknowledge. In that sense, our enemies are our greatest teachers. When we hate an enemy, we are only directing our venom back upon a part of ourselves that needs to be known, loved, and transformed. Many times, our enemies are not even aware of our feelings, so we truly only harm ourselves.

What I actually think Jesus is leading us to through loving our enemies is to persist in finding a third way to reconcile our differences – one that includes and honors both the position of our enemy as well as our own. In that way, there is no reason to hate our enemies because they are no longer an enemy but a comrade in a shared purpose. Loving others is the mark of a child of God, even and especially when that person seems to be working against us.

This is the 22nd in a series of Life Notes entitled “What Did Jesus Say?”

 Prefer to listen? Check out Life Notes Podcasts at www.ContemplatingGrace.com/podcasts

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