Love Does Not Rejoice in Wrongdoing
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing… 1 Corinthians 13:4-6a
The last of the unloving traits listed by Paul is to rejoice in wrongdoing. Most of the time when we do something wrong, we already feel ashamed. To have our mistake be the reason for someone else’s happiness just multiplies our frustration and sadness. Likewise, to rejoice in something we did wrong to another is equally unloving, especially if it was something we did intentionally. Rejoicing in the misfortune of others is cruel, and yet it is all too common. Much gossip is of this nature. The competitive part of me enjoys seeing someone else make a poor judgement that allows me an advantage in a game. I do not believe that, in itself, is wrong. It would be unloving if I did a happy dance in front of the other, however.
Often, we rejoice in the wrongdoing of another as a way to lift ourselves up. Particularly when it is a person we believe has a better life than we have. We think, “Ha! Now you know what my life is like!” None of us, however, can know the life experience of another. It is too easy to judge the circumstances of another through our own biases. Easy, yes, but usually inaccurate.
The problem with lifting ourselves up at the expense of another is that we are intimately interconnected. None of us can truly rise above life’s circumstances unless and until we all rise. It is like being in a boat with someone and laughing at the hole in his or her end of the boat. Ultimately, everyone in the boat is going down.
In marriage, two lives become one life. One person cannot “succeed” in a marriage if the other is not also successful. That would be like saying my right hand lived a full, happy life, but the rest of my body failed miserably. In many of his letters, the apostle Paul refers to the church and its members as the body of Christ. He writes in Romans, “…we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually we are members one of another.” Finally, on his last night on earth in the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus prays that we all become one with him, just as he is one with God. Contrary to popular belief, our fates are tied. Acknowledging our interconnectedness can solve many of the world’s ills. Loving relationships require unity. If we rejoice in the wrongdoing of another, we cannot be in union with him or her. Love demands that we lift others up, not tear them down.
Let us make 2016 the year of love, as love was meant to be.