Praying With One Eye Open

 You shall not make for yourself an idol,.. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the LORD your God am a jealous God… Exodus 20:4a,5a,b

The book of Exodus records Moses’ visits with God on Mount Sinai. On one of those visits, God gives Moses the Ten Commandments. One of those commandments warns against making idols for ourselves because God is a jealous God. I always found this particular commandment troubling because of the description of God as jealous. Jealousy seems too petty for an all-powerful, all-loving God. I remember jealousy as the product of teenage hormones running wild, combined with insecurity and immaturity. Jealousy was ugly, hurtful, and certainly not befitting of God. Besides, what could possibly make God jealous of us?

Based on my nebulous experiences of God over the years, I think using the contemporary understanding of jealousy is misleading. God’s jealousy, in part, has to do with our free will. No one wants love forced upon them, nor does anyone want to be loved because another feels sorry for or obligated to love him or her. That is charity, not love. Deep love is always offered but never imposed. We can accept God’s love or not. God’s love for us does not diminish because we refuse to acknowledge or reciprocate it. Jesus’ parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-31) illustrates the point well. The younger son turns away from his father, but the father’s love for his wayward son never wanes. God does not turn from us like a jealous, spurned lover; rather, we miss God’s reaching out to us because we are focused elsewhere.

God is described as jealous because our experience of God is fickle. We are so wrapped up in our earthly existence that encounters with God are difficult to recognize. Such experiences are usually subtle and easily missed when we are not paying attention. God seldom comes to us as a thunderbolt, but as the wind whispering gently through the trees or a hummingbird visiting the honeysuckle. Paying attention to God and seeking God’s presence is difficult with our endless opportunities for distraction. Our modern-day idols are not carved images of animals or pagan gods, but are our addictions, smart phones, social media, and television – things that keep us out of a deep experience with the present moment. Our seductive idols draw our attention away from rich encounters with loved ones, including our experiences of God’s love. God is not jealous because we spend so much time with the objects of our obsessions. Rather, God hurts because our obsessions keep us from noticing God’s nearness, which hurts us. God hurts for us, not because of us. It is not so much God’s heart that breaks, but ours that would break if we knew what we were giving up for the temporary high of an idolatrous encounter. There is no permanence or security in our distractions, only a diversion from what matters most.

Lest this sound like a holier-than-thou, guilt-imposing diatribe, I confess my own on-going tendency toward diversion from the present moment. I know I cannot experience God anywhere or anytime other than right here and right now, but I struggle mightily with sincerely seeking God on a more than infrequent basis. That is part of our human nature and not cause for guilt or self-deprecation. Rather, it is an opportunity for spiritual growth. God waits patiently for us, as did the prodigal’s father, and in the context of eternity, there is no particular rush. Our very human obligations prevent us from focusing on God in every waking moment, anyway. It is comforting to know, however, that God is accessible should we need a divine encounter.

Praying with one eye open is a metaphor for not giving oneself fully to God. When we close both eyes to pray, even for a short time, we make ourselves uncomfortably vulnerable – danger could approach that we would not see. We could miss something we want to see – like praying in front of a televised sporting event. Someone might notice and think less of us. Our addiction to earthly affairs causes us to keep an eye open, even though we know we cannot fully give ourselves over to God without loosening the grip our material interests hold over us. God speaks most often in silence and darkness. God’s still small voice cannot be heard over the commotion of our lives, nor will God’s presence draw our attention away from Facebook. God knows we need to turn away from our idols on occasion, close both eyes, and rest in the loving presence of the Divine.

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